


A Dummy's Guide To Making Someone Fall In Love With You

by clenchedhands



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst and Humor, Canon Compliant, Curse Breaking, Curses, Falling In Love, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Humor, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Magic, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 20:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12755796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clenchedhands/pseuds/clenchedhands
Summary: Nico breathed in deep, letting it out slowly before asking, “So how or when will this stop? And what exactly does this curse entail?”“Well I made sure to take away the uncontrollable dancing and descent into insanity-“Nico muttered under his breath, “Small wonders.”“And it won’t stop until you’ve made someone fall in love with you.”Nico wondered if death was an acceptable alternative.(Or: "Nico wishes shadow traveling away were an acceptable solution to all his problems." In which Persephone insults Aphrodite, Hades of course backs up his wife, and Aphrodite takes it out on Nico. Set before he and Will start dating, after the infirmary, somewhere before Apollo crash landed in a dumpster.)





	A Dummy's Guide To Making Someone Fall In Love With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Step 1: Have your godly parents piss off Aphrodite.  
> Step 2: Have said pissed off goddess take it out on you instead.  
> Step 3: Use the curse to your advantage.
> 
> Result: Instructions too vague. Got dick stuck in the ceiling fan.
> 
> Aka, Nico considers fleeing to the underworld and staying there forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY so i saw a thing on tumblr that was like if nico was a son of aphrodite and i was like. i need to do something with this. so i did.  
> please note the timeline is a bit funky, i tried to slip it in somewhere before apollo got sent down as a mortal, sometimes after the whole gaea thing and after he gets over percy and tells him. Also before he asks out will.

Technically, no one had actually said Persephone was more attractive than Aphrodite. Technically. But that didn’t matter, the damage had been done. Hades felt like they had become one of those mortal sitcoms, in which every argument went in circles, ending in over-dramatic declarations of revenge. Come to think of it, that was really just the life of the gods every day. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and three skeletons rose from the ground, chattering annoyedly from being woken up

“Can you stop with that, Hades,” Aphrodite was looking around the throne room with an air of distinct distain. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Hades, is was just that she didn’t like… everything about Hades. Or really, just the smell of death. Also, for some reason, when she was in the underworld her hair wouldn’t change to anything other than glossy black curls. Which looked gorgeous anyway, of course. In any case she was standing, hand on her hip, glaring daggers at the god of death.

To be honest she was looking quite scary. Hades was not about to admit that. Instead he sighed and replied, “You could have not come. Then it wouldn’t be an issue”

To be honest, she was looking quite scary. Hades was not about to admit that. Instead he sighed and replied, “You could have not come. Then it wouldn’t be an issue”

“Look, generally, I just ignore these things,” Persephone raised an eyebrow, half suppressing a snort. Aphrodite’s glare shifted from daggers to swords. “As I was saying, if I addressed every single jealous slight against me, that would be all I was doing.”

Hades wondered how angry Zeus would be if he turned his daughter into a stalagmite. Honestly, he probably wouldn’t care, but Hades had a feeling it would come back to bite him in the ass. In fact, that was kind of the situation right now.

“Look, there’s nothing I can do about it now-“

“Like hell you can’t! Pun not intended.” Aphrodite crossed her arms, her eyes - which could still change color - flashing from purple to red. “Can you just, I don’t know give her a slap on the wrist?”

“Excuse me?” Persephone’s eyebrows went even higher. She took a step forward, voice incredulous. “Are you really asking my husband to punish me? In your stead? Have you lost your mind?”

“Perse-“ Hades was getting a bit worried. Maybe he should send them both out of the underworld, at least so his castle wouldn’t be wrecked. Nico had just helped him restore it.

Persephone didn’t let him finish. “No, Hades, this isn’t your fight at all.”

He grumbled, “That’s what I’ve been trying to say.” He had no doubt that getting involved would just make him look bad, and in all honesty, he wasn’t even involved. Yet somehow, he took the blame, as he did for everything.

“Fine then. Persephone, I would be oh so grateful if you apologized.” Her voice dripped like honey. Poisoned honey.

“Not a chance in hell. Pun intended.” The vines on the wall began to grow rather ferociously. “I wasn’t even the one who said it, in fact, no one said it at all!”

“It was implied!” The ground in between the two goddesses began to smoke. Hades kinda wanted to disappear into the shadows. Something he could, indeed do, if he didn’t want to get chewed out by Persephone for running away. Hades did not like to be on her bad side. It was usually a dangerous place to be in.

“Why don’t you just smite the damn mortal!” Persephone threw her hands in the air, and the vines crept onto Hades head. 

The skeletons began to do a jig as Aphrodite raised her voice an octave. “I did!”

“Can you please take this outside? Please?” He moved away from the vines. The skeleton’s bones rattled. “My son just helped me organize this place.”

Aphrodite’s eyes looked like they were glowing, which was simultaneously enchanting and terrifying. She said, “You know what, that’s it. Persephone, I know you like the boy, well now he’s cursed.”

“Hey now, don’t bring Nico into this.” Hades stood up and the vines instantly withered. 

Aphrodite almost looked like she regretted her choice. Almost. “Well, it’s too late. It’s something Hecate helped me make up a few millennia ago when I cursed that town of men. It isn’t reversible until he reverses it himself.”

“And what, exactly, did you do to my son?” Persephone silently hoped Hades would turn her into a precious stone. Or even just a stone. 

“Ah,” She had the good graces to look just a tad bit sheepish. A very, very, very small tad bit. “Well he will essentially have all the powers as if he were my child not yours. And his powers for you will be diminished….”

She trailed off, then said the rest rather quickly. “And he will attract everyone to him, enhancing their emotions tenfold when they are near him. And he can only undo it once he has caused someone to fall in love with him.”

Hades could imagine his son’s expression when he found this out. Hades almost felt bad for Aphrodite. Nico always had a very bad sense of self-preservation, and would most likely come very close to punching Aphrodite in the face. 

Aphrodite added, “I made sure it wouldn’t make him go insane and start dancing uncontrollably. That what I did with those men a while ago.”

“Tell him how to reverse it.” Hades kept his voice sharp on this one.

Aphrodite scowled, but said, “Fine. Bye.” With a final glare at Persephone, one that literally materialized shimmering daggers that flew at her, she turned in place and teleported away. The daggers exploded in glitter, a paper falling down from the shimmering cloud. It read “This glitter will be all over your body for the next century. Also you suck.”

Hades sneezed, dissipating the cloud. Persephone made the paper combust. The next family dinner was going to be tense.

 

* * *

 

Nico di Angelo woke up feeling quite strange. He peered at the clock by his bed. Six in the morning. He groaned, why in the world had he woken up so early? He shuffled out of bed, throwing on clothes without really looking. He scratched his head, what was it that was wrong - the air around him seemed to be shimmering with pink sparkles. He rubbed his eyes. It stayed. Then he realized. His sense of the dead was very diminished, as if someone had stuffed cotton over that part of his powers. And so did his ability to make things whither and make the air drop by twenty degrees. He frowned, getting up to get breakfast, now too awake to go back to bed. As he passed the mirror in his room he did a double take.

“What the fuck.” He stopped in front of the mirror, eyes widening.

His outfit was skin-tight black torn skinny jeans, a black mesh crop top that was similarly ripped, and platform boots with metal spikes on it. His hair was curled and glossy with a braid at one side, and it bounced back into place perfectly as he ran his hands through it; braid included. He looked closer, eyes widening more. He was wearing makeup. Nico had been very glad to get past his black eyeliner phase, but now here it was along with a pale shimmer on the top of his cheeks and a slight cherry tint to his lips. It definitely looked much better than when he smudged kohl on his eyes when he was thirteen, like a professional had done it, but somehow that made it worse. And his ears were pierced - something he had actually done to himself, but now the earrings were huge gold hoops. He felt something weird in his mouth and stuck out a tongue. Glittering back at him was a gold stud. He definitely did not do that one. 

What the fuck was going on? Nico stomped back to his dresser, but none of the clothes there were much better. It looked like someone had swapped all his usual (still somewhat stylish) grungy clothes for the wardrobe of a fashion model. Albeit, a punk fashion model, which he was grateful for - but still. He tried to wash off the makeup. It didn’t budge. He played with the piercing. It was real, the metal slid through the hole and clicked on his teeth. He tried to take out the piercings, but it was like the backs of them were welded on. As much as he wasn’t thrilled about the gold hoops he wasn’t about to rip apart his ear to remove them.

Nico stepped back again. Well, the one good thing was that he looked exceptionally gay. Like, really gay. Flaming. That he could live with. The glitter? That he could not live with. He had a reputation to upkeep as the resident black cloud after all. 

Someone knocked on the door twice before opening it, and Nico practically jumped out of his skin, whipping around towards the noise.

“Hey Nico, I saw that your light was on why are you awa-“ Will was talking a touch too loudly, and looked as refreshed as can be. He stopped mid-sentence and his eyebrows flew up, disappearing into his bangs. “Holy shit.”

Nico briefly considered shadow traveling away. There was his crush, red rapidly climbing from his cheeks to his ears, staring at him as if he had two heads. Actually, two heads would be less of a surprise.

“Uh,” Will swallowed, his eyes not so subtly raking over Nico’s body. “You look… different? I mean. Not bad, just, uh, I mean good, but not like I think you look good just objectively you look good you know because of the outfit coordination and….” He swallowed again.

Nico was very close to shadow traveling away. He buried his face in his hands and said, “I have literally no idea what happened. I woke up, and I looked like this, and all my clothes were replaced with ones like these.” He moved away his hands. “Will, I’m wearing makeup and _it won’t come off_.”

“Yeah,” Will said faintly, “You are.”

Nico could die right now. He wondered what god he angered to make this happen to him. He was pretty sure he’d been relatively well behaved, he had helped with the whole Gaea thing, and things were finally settling down.

“Well, I guess I’m staying in this cabin for the rest of however long this lasts.” Nico’s head was spinning. How long was this going to last? Please let it be a practical joke. A quick practical joke.

Will furrowed his brows, “You promised to help with the meet and greet sparring thing, remember?”

“Fuck.” Nico very much regretted his promise. Suddenly, when Hazel had joking told him to swear on the river of Styx that he wouldn’t back out, and he did, didn’t seem so funny anymore. Nico repeated himself, “Fuck.”

“W-well. Let’s go get breakfast, I think you’re going to need it.” Will spun around, suddenly very interested with the concept of breakfast. Nico silently cursed whatever or whoever caused this, and followed him out very reluctantly.

Will was right, he was going to need that breakfast. The second they got to the pavilion, it seemed as if every demigod within a twenty foot radius sensed Nico was coming and turned to stare. Actually, it didn’t just feel like that. It happened. Luckily, not too many people were awake this early. He got his eggs and bacon as quickly as humanly possible before sitting down. During breakfast, the whole sitting at your assigned table thing wasn’t really observed - not that he did when it was observed. He sat next to Will, across form Annabeth. She was typing away on her laptop, bagel in one hand. She looked up, looked back to the screen, then looked back up, alarmed.

“Nico?” Again with the might as well have two heads thing. Nico grimaced.

“I have no idea. At all.” He ran his hand through his hair, which annoyingly sprung back into it’s perfect state. “I woke up like this-“

Annabeth snorted. 

“You know what I mean. All my cloths were stolen and replaced with ones like,” He gestured towards his body, “This.”

“Well, it’s quite the fashionable outfit. Is that- is that a tongue piercing?” Annabeth looked very much like she was about to laugh at him. Nico snapped his mouth shut.

Beside him Will let out a noise that sounded vaguely like a mouse being choked. Nico groaned and put his head against the table, hitting it three times before staying face down. He mumbled, “I don’t know who caused this, but I would like to have some words with them. Some rather explicit words.”

Annabeth was definitely laughing at him now. 

“Uh, Nico.” Will poked his shoulder.

“What?” 

“Look up.”

Nico raised his head, face in a very disgruntled expression to see a woman standing to the right of their table. For a moment Nico wondered if he wasn’t actually gay - the woman was stunning - and then recognized her. His expression soured even further.

Aphrodite waved, grinning as if they were good friends about to catch up. “Nico! How are you feeling?”

“What did I do to deserve this.” He deadpanned, too irritated to be thinking of his well being.

“As charming as ever.” Her expression didn’t change from it’s wide smile. “No light headedness? Anyone near you burst into flame? How are the ghosts?”

“Did you do this?” Nico tried to keep the distain out of his voice, knowing that there was definitely a line and if he crossed it, he’d probably be turned into a slug. Which actually might be better than this… no he can’t help with todays event as a slug.

She materialized a chair, and sat down. “Yes. I was punishing Persephone.”

“And how, exactly, did this punish my step mom?” Nico and Persephone had their bad spots, but after she helped Nico get over Percy, he gained new respect for her. At least, he hadn’t been turned into any flora as of late.

“Well, she got some semi-eternal glitter. It’s easier to curse demigods.” She crossed her legs and her outfit went from a ball gown to a chick suit. “Don’t worry it’s not permanent. Sorta.”

Nico breathed in deep, letting it out slowly before asking, “So how or when will this stop? And what exactly does this curse entail?”

“Well I made sure to take away the uncontrollable dancing and descent into insanity-“

Nico muttered under his breath, “Small wonders.”

Aphrodite ignored him, continuing, “Essentially, people will feel compelled to be near you. If someone hates you, it won’t make them like you per se, they’ll just feel like they need to be in your presence. Your powers related to Hades are diminished, but not totally gone.” She grabbed a goblet from a nymph, and took a sip.

“And?” 

“And it won’t stop until you’ve made someone fall in love with you.”

Nico wondered if death was an acceptable alternative. Or running far away. No, dying sounded good right about now. The grass in the cracks in the marble in the ground withered.

“See? Not totally gone.” She pointed at the grass and then stood up. “Anyway, now that you know, I’m going to leave. Have fun!”

“Wait-“ It was too late. She was gone, leaving only the scent of a very cloying perfume in her wake and a book with fell to the ground with a thud. 

He picked it up, and read the title out loud. “A Dummy’s Guide To Making Someone Fall In Love With You, a self help book by Aphrodite.”

Nico returned his head to the table. 

“She’s always pleasant.” Annabeth said, going back to her typing. 

“I mean, at least it’s not permanent!” Will said nervously. “You might as well enjoy the spotlight.”

Nico looked at him “Oh yeah, because I love the spotlight. It’s my favorite place to be.”

“That’s the spirit!” Will gave him a grin. Pointedly ignoring his sarcasm.

“Why is it that whenever a god has a problem, somehow it just bounces back to us?” Nico shoved his now cold eggs into his mouth.

“Well isn’t that the question of the millennia.” Percy said, sitting down next to Annabeth, his plate stacked with blue pancakes. He looked at Nico and choked a mouthfull. “What the heck happened to you?”

Nico was very close to screaming. He spoke around his eggs, hoping it would counteract some of the attractiveness. “Aphrodite cursed me because she was angry at Persephone.”

“That sucks.” Percy, as always, stated the obvious.

Nico swallowed his eggs and shoveled in some bacon. “No fucking kidding.”

“Oh man, and on the day that both camps will be here.” Percy was now grinning. Nico narrowed his eyes. Fortunately, he no longer hopelessly pined after the asshole. Unfortunately, he still had to deal with his annoying ass. “And I know some people who normally wouldn’t be here because it isn’t summer are coming just for this.”

Excellent. Wonderful. _Spectacular._

Nico was still hoping that this was one big, extremely insensitive and entirely unfunny, practical joke. It wasn’t. He finished breakfast, and made his was over to the the sparring ring and special obstacle course that had been put for today. The two demigod camps would be split into groups where they would have to work with each other, in an attempt to further dispel the bad blood. Instead of Romans vs Greeks, they would be put into random groups and forced to work together. Hopefully no one would die.

Where ever Nico went, people were staring at him. He tried his best to make all the plants around him die, and turn the air cold, but it wasn’t enough to counteract the curse. Also that got pretty tiring, draining him when it would have been as easy as breathing to do before. He locked the turrets into place and wondered if he could just step in front of one and turning it on. Unfortunately, escaping without being noticed wouldn’t be possible seeing as everyone within a twenty foot radius was looking at him as if they were trying to predict whether or not he had gone crazy. It definitely didn’t help that Will kept staring at the exposed part of his mid-drift a distinct blush on his cheeks. Nico told himself it was just the curse. He had been planning on asking Will out eventually, but now? This kinda ruined his plans.

Nico moved on the the next turret, when Jason, Piper, Frank, and Hazel come over the hill. Nico took a deep breath. The first one to see him was his sister, and for that he was grateful. Sure, Hazel would make fun of him, but at least she would be supportive. Jason was probably just going to be a dick. As they got closer he realized something. Piper is a daughter of Aphrodite. Nico practically jumped down her throat when she arrived.

“Hey Nico!” Jason said with a wave.

Nico ignored him, “Piper you’re a daughter of Aphrodite, right?”

“Uh, yeah? Why?” She blinked in surprise.

“She cursed me.” Nico replied, crossing his arms over his shirt. If that’s what you could call it. The mesh kind of defeated the purpose of there even being fabric there.

Hazel let out a short laugh, “That explains the look you’ve got going on.”

Nico scrunched his nose. “Yeah. It’s horrible.”

“Man, having everyone stare at you whenever you walk into a room? Always feeling uncomfortable? I wonder how that feels.” Piper says, putting her finger to her chin in mock thinking. 

“I don’t know how you do it. I’m dying. How to you make it not as bad?” There’s clear desperation in Nico’s voice.

She sighed and said, “You kinda just ignore it. The less attention you put on it, the less people will notice.”

“Well, that’s great, but to lift the curse I need to make someone fall in love with me.”

The theme of the day seemed to be raised eyebrows. Jason’s arched as he said, “You need to what now?” At the same time Hazel let out another, louder laugh. Nico changed his mind. His sister was the worst. 

“Hey, if you need a tiger or something to ward off your fans, let me know.” Frank offered him a smile, and Nico was thankful. Although ‘fans’ would not be the word he would use.

“Thanks,” Nico turned back to the turret, saying, “Well I know you guys got here early to help set up, so get to it. Since Leo was so kind as to leave us to all the mechanical bullshit, we need all hands on deck."

Nico counted to ten, waiting for them to leave before slapping a hand over his face and dragging it down. What a mess.

“Hey,” Nico jumped, and turned to see Hazel still there. “If you do need a place away from everyone, let me know. I know you don’t like attention.”

Nico smiled at her, “Thanks, Hazel. I’ll definitely take you up on that offer.”

She grinned and bumped his shoulder. “See ya later lover boy.”

The demigods went on preparing for the event, setting traps and finishing the obstacle course. Nico went over to the sparring ring, where a tournament would take place. Once everything was good to go, he went over to where a pop up tent housed the mini infirmary. It was already being used, a camper getting a large bandaid put over a nasty looking cut. Will would probably be very busy once things started to get going. Nico walked up next to him, silently, and waited to see when he would notice. This was his favorite thing to do to Jason, he hated it when Nico made no sound and just appeared. It only worked sometimes on Will. He seemed to be pretty distracted, and it did work. 

Will turned around and let out a yelp of surprise, “Jeez, Nico! Don’t do that!” He smushed the bandages in his hands.

“Sorry.” Nico wasn’t sorry. He looked at Will who was very pointedly looking at a fixed point to the right of Nico’s head. Nico took this opportunity to study Will’s freckles. He was so close to confessing, but he felt that doing so with the curse would be unfair and manipulative. Nico bit the inside of his cheek. “You good over here?”

“Yeah! All set.” Will replied, “How’s the curse going?”

“Oh you know, just peachy.”

“That sounds about right. I mean hey, even the Aphrodite kids don’t seem to be immune.”

Nico looked behind him to see three campers staring at him. They didn’t even look away when he turned. 

Nico sighed, “What time is it?”

“Eight thirty-two.” Will responded instantly, in a way only children of Apollo (or Artemis) could. They always knew what time it was.

“You think it’s too early for me to die spectacularly in the obstacle course?”

“It’s never too early to avoid your destiny.” Will gave him a cheeky grin. AT least his witty comebacks were making an appearance. Maybe everyone would just get used to the Nico’s curse and go back to ignoring him. Nico hoped so.

“Thanks.

“Sure thing, death breath.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the timeline is kinda wonky, just go with it. also i may mess around with why aphrodite is angry and curses him, because the argument at the beginning feels kinda catty and unnatural. altho i suppose the gods are rather catty.
> 
> anyway, one more chapter to come!!! it will be a tad spicier. with solangelo stuff.
> 
> catch me over at clenchedhands.tumblr.com


End file.
